Goodnight Sue!
Goodnight Sonia!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
In Memoriam.
Friends,
On this trip, we realized how rough it is out here for furry creatures big and small. On our way up interstate 5, we started counting the fallen and below you'll find a list of critters that unfortunately won't make it to this year's Thanksgiving dinner.
Please be careful out there. These guys may not be as big as we are, but I'm sure they have their skunk wives and racoon husbands waiting at home for them. If you're going to be on the road, think of these guys and pay attention.
In memoriam.
5 racoons
4 deer
1 rat
4 mice
6 skunks
2 possums
2 birds
3 squirrels
6 unrecognizable buddies
And let's not forget the bugs. So many, many bugs.
May you all come back as SUV drivers in your next life.
Last Stretch
Yes, she's yawning. Yes, that's her giant family-sized Redbull.
We'll be home in 86 miles.
Wish us luck.
The Chupacabra Hunter
File this under "shit you see on California roads."
We saw a truck with the words Cazador del Chupacabras, which roughly translates to "Goatsucker Hunter." If you're not familiar with the myth of the chupacabra, do us a favor and Wikipedia it, we promise it's worth it, if only so you have a scary story in your pocket the next time you go camping.
Good luck, guy. Go get a chupacabra...then go after Big Foot, the Lochness Monster, and the New Jersey Devil. We'll judge you, but we'll do it silently, just in case we ever need to enlist your services.
4:30 Update
Location: Santa Maria
Song: Dixie Chicks, "The Long Way Round"
Favorite thing: Stormy weather
Challenge: none
Looking forward to: my bed
Day 4: Goodbye Monterey, Hello Road
This was supposed to be posted earlier, but we didn't have a signal.
We are now at Hearst Castle in San Simeon.
_______________________________________
Monterey is growing smaller in the rear view mirror. Sue and I are listening to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" as we drive down to Pfeiffer State Beach in Big Sur, arguably the most beautiful coast section of California. We've seen beautiful beaches so far, so if Michelle Pfeiffer Beach, as we've been jokingly calling it, is better, then Sue Ellen may just have to drive home alone.
I'll set up an organic nouveau Mexican coffee shop where I can give directions and advice, and host dinners with artists, writers, and expats.
For now, here is an update:
Location: Pablo Coronado
Challenge: Rain, aggressive drivers
Favorite thing: Imagination
Song: UB40, "Red Red Wine"
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
5:09 p.m. Update
We're en route to Monterey!
After an hour and a half of driving through the counties of Mendocino and Sonoma, route 128 has finally led us to the 101, which means that Sue can finally relax a little. All of these winding roads have probably shortened Sue Ellen's life by at least 5 years.
As challenging as driving in the coastal region of northern California is, it is absolutely breathtaking. The apple groves, wineries, rivers, forests, beaches, violent waves, and rock formations are humbling. When it comes right down to it, mother nature can make us tiny and powerless whenever she pleases.
Lucky for us, she's been taking good care of us so far.
Location: Windsor, CA
Favorite thing: cruise control
Song: Whitney Houston, "I Will Always Love You"
Looking forward to: stretching
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Fun times inside a tree
I have no idea what I'm doing in this picture, but Sue looks cute, so I'm posting it.
The look of fear explained.
Our guidebook suggested the Grey Whale Inn, a "comfortable family-run inn...situated in a historic building." What the guide book doesn't say, however, is that the building is creeeeepy.
Despite our gut feeling, we approached the inn, because we wanted to not judge a book by its cover...blah, blah, blah. It turned out to be a bed & breakfast that was already closed for check-in, which was fine because when I turned to walk away, I spotted proof of the aforementioned creepiness.
Turns out that this little inn used to be a hospital, a fact they proudly display on a plaque outside the building. Now, I'm no Tangina Barrons, but an old building + steps that creak + no lights + a former life as a house for the ill = one scary night that I'll have to relive in my very own episode of "Ghost Hunters." No thanks. Plus, we saw a dead racoon as we were driving away and that's never a good sign.
Now, we're chillin' in a room at the Emerald Dolphin Inn, where the creepiest thing is Sue Ellen's insistence on watching a SyFy show on the " New Jersey Devil."
Day 2 is on.
Very spotty service up here, will post later.
Quick update: We made it. We set up camp, ate hot dogs and s'mores. I drank wine out of a box (cause I'm classy like that) and Sue, to the surprise of no one, had a little Malibu Rum, but not enough to help her from freaking out every time a branch cracked.
Sue was so funny. She slept with the car keys next to her, so she could hit the panic button and scare a bear away, in case one showed up.
I slept like baby.
Wish us luck.
Quick update: We made it. We set up camp, ate hot dogs and s'mores. I drank wine out of a box (cause I'm classy like that) and Sue, to the surprise of no one, had a little Malibu Rum, but not enough to help her from freaking out every time a branch cracked.
Sue was so funny. She slept with the car keys next to her, so she could hit the panic button and scare a bear away, in case one showed up.
I slept like baby.
Wish us luck.
Officially in Mendocino County.
Location: Mendocino County
Favorite thing: Lakes
Song of the hour: Dr. Dre, "Xxplosive"
Annoyance: None
Sue's Redbull intake: 3
Pee breaks: 5
We just crossed the Mendocino County line and we are ecstatic!
We'll be setting up camp in no time.
Side note: Sue has been handling the windy road like a pro.
We're officially in Mendocino!
Location: Mendocino County
Favorite thing: Lakes
Song of the hour: Dr. Dre, "Xxplosive"
Annoyance: None
Sue's Redbull intake: 3
Pee breaks: 5
We just crossed the Mendocino County line and we are ecstatic!
We'll be setting up camp in no time.
Side note: Sue has been handling the windy road like a pro.
Day 2 is on.
Very spotty service up here, will post later.
Quick update: We made it. We set up camp, ate hot dogs and s'mores. I drank wine out of a box (cause I'm classy like that) and Sue, to the surprise of no one, had a little Malibu Rum, but not enough to help her from freaking out everytime a branch cracked.
Sue was super cute, she slept with get car keys next to her, so she could hit the panic button and scare a bear away, in case one showed up.
I slept like baby.
Wish us luck.
Officially in Mendocino County.
Location: Mendocino County
Favorite thing: Lakes
Song of the hour: Dr. Dre, "Xxplosive"
Annoyance: None
Sue's Redbull intake: 3
Pee breaks: 5
We just crossed the Mendocino County line and we are ecstatic!
We'll be setting up camp in no time.
Side note: Sue has been handling the windy road like a pro.
We're officially in Mendocino!
Location: Mendocino County
Favorite thing: Lakes
Song of the hour: Dr. Dre, "Xxplosive"
Annoyance: None
Sue's Redbull intake: 3
Pee breaks: 5
We just crossed the Mendocino County line and we are ecstatic!
We'll be setting up camp in no time.
Side note: Sue has been handling the windy road like a pro.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
We made it to Sacramento.
Location: Sacramento
Favorite thing: Yelp
Song: Third Eye Blind, "Semi-Charmed Life"
Annoyance: Near-death experiences
Sue's Redbull intake: 2
Pee breaks: 3
Puke breaks: 1
Sue and I had our first close call. It was 15 minutes right out of a movie. A really crappy movie where the protagonists almost die.
A few miles back, in Stockton, I was reading this month's issue of Marie Claire when I started to feel a little sick. I waited a couple of minutes to see if it would pass, but it didn't, so I asked Sue to please stop at the next rest stop. Then it happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something crawling up Sue Ellen's leg. Knowing Sue's phobia of anything resembling a spider, I calmly rolled up my magazine, looked down at the strange green insect attached to Sue's knee and said, "Sue, keep driving."
I might as well have said, "Sue, there's a poisonous tarantula having babies on your leg." The girl freaked out hardcore. We were going about 75 miles an hour and I didn't want to accidentally jam her leg into the pedal, so I started hitting the insect with the magazine with minimal force. This was not to Sue's liking. In between tears and screams, I could hear "Kill it! Kill it!" "What the fuck is it!?" "Did you get it?" "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, kill it!"
I managed to knock the freaking bug off her leg, but it was too late. We were on red alert. I wanted to calm Sue down, so I ignored my instincts, grabbed some kleenex and picked the thing off the floor. It felt horrible. It was big and hard and STILL FREAKING MOVING. That's when I started to freak out.
Sue saw the panic in my eyes and she pulled a Chris Farley in "Black Sheep" - without slowing down, she veered across three lanes to exit the freeway.
We pulled into a gas station, got out of the car and started jumping up and down.
Unfortunately, it was my job to get the bug out of the car. Happy, I was not, but I did it. Then, because this particular place smelled like kitten vomit, Sue started making that wet sound that happens right before someone throws up.
With renewed urgency, we went into the gas station's little shop of horrors to use the restroom. I walked in first and almost immediately walked out. It was disgusting. I had to tap into some serious yoga skills to make sure that I didn't touch a single thing in that place.
Luckily, Sue and I survived both the mystery bug and the panic. We're now sitting in a breakfast casino restaurant. You read that right, Yelp, while mostly helpful, can sometimes guide you into questionable establishments. The food is good, but we're pretty sure that there's a gentleman's lounge in the back. My only question is, who strips at 11 o' clock in the morning?
Wish us luck.
7:55 Check in
Location: Los Banos
Favorite thing: Sunshine
Song of the hour: Aerosmith, "Dream On"
Annoyance: Gas station attendants that talk 'ish about POTUS
Sue's Redbull intake: 2
Pee breaks: 3
Windshield bugs: 45,000
Sue says: "Oh, horsies!"
5:45 Check in
Location: Lost Hills
Favorite thing: iPod
Song of the hour: Florence + The Machine, "Dog Days Are Over"
Annoyance: Smelly crops
Sue's Redbull intake: 2
Pee breaks: 1
Windshield bugs: 2
Sue says: "Cruise control is awesome"
4:28 Check in
Location: Pyramid Lake
Favorite thing: Stars! So many stars!
Song of the hour: GNR, "Paradise City"
Annoyance: Construction all over LA freeways.
Sue's Redbull intake: 1
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
It's about to go down.
If you're reading this blog, you probably know me (hi mom!) or Sue. In the strange event that you don't know either one of us, here's a little background.
During the next five days, this blog will be our travel journal. We're chronicling our trip because despite knowing each other over 13 years, this is our very first vacation together. Sue and I have traveled together, but it's always been for work...until now. We will be traveling to Mendocino, 10 hours up interstate 5 in California, and then driving down the 101, along California's coast. It's going to be awwwwwsome.
Meet Sue Ellen:
Sue is a hoot and a half. There's a very thin filter between Sue's brain and the outside world, making most exchanges with her hilarious, sad, frustrating, or a combination of the above. The fact that Sue Ellen wears her heart on her sleeve is endearing. Except when she's inexplicably crying over a movie trailer. Then it just gets kinda awkward.
Sue is also a closet outdoors(wo)man. She hikes regularly, but she's never gone camping, so our first challenge is to set up camp at Russian Gulch State Park. We'll see how it goes. I was feeling good about it, right up until Sue asked me if I knew how to start a fire. Which was followed up by, "can I borrow a sleeping bag?" and then by "can you bring a tent?" and then by "will it be cold?" and then by another ten questions in quick succession. The girl is unprepared. Fun times.
Strengths: Reading maps, yelping, scaring away wildlife with her singing.
Weaknesses: Spiders, peanuts.
Super power: Dog whispering.
Meet Sonia (me):
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. Just kidding, that's an awful quote from Notting Hill. I am indeed a girl, but I'm also the youngest of three, a little bit of a geek, a good friend, a decent cook, a pretty cool roommate, a writer, and a slight nail polish addict.
I'm comfortable with the outdoors and I've done this trip before, so I'm looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the drive and all of its random gems. The first time around, I spent a good hour or two driving in the dark, through the crazy curves of Hwy 1 in the middle of the redwood forest, being closely followed by giant trucks. No bueno.
This time around, Sue will be doing all the driving, which doesn't mean that I won't freak out, but it does mean that I can try to ignore our near-death experiences by doing the quizzes in my lady mags.
Strengths: Picking music, making lists, fighting off raccoons.
Weaknesses: Karaoke, cute hitchhikers.
Super power: Creating diversions.
We will both contribute to the blog, so you'll get to know us a little better in the next week or so.
Wish us luck.
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